I received a gift last Friday. Thank you, Lord, for the gift of forgiveness and absolution. 

Thank you, Love, for giving me courage and being there always. 🙏🙏🙏💕💕💕


Lord, thank you. 

It’s been a few weeks now that I’ve been in a dark place because of all my insecurities, self doubt and overthinking. If you could see my inner self, you’d see a little girl crying and squirming not knowing what to do. This little girl started motivated and challenged but she’s turned overly conscious of what other people think, so afraid to make mistakes, so distracted with the things that don’t matter (like politics, who likes/hates who, etc etc). 

I’m squirming because the Lord has gifted me a new set of challenges to teach me so many new things about myself. I have longed to learn the quieter virtues – wisdom, perseverance, patience – that I have not yet perfected. I have prayed for grit. I have prayed for the Lord to turn me into a better me. 

I’m squirming, because the Lord is cooking something good for my life. I may not see it clearly now. But I feel it. His presence, as I squirm and try so hard to keep still. 

I cried for two days. And I don’t know if I am yet to cry some more. But tonight, I feel like smiling. The Lord, in His goodness, is answering my prayers. It’s funny when I see it that way. I’m squirming because God loves me so much. Maybe somewhere up there, he is smiling at His crying child who doesn’t that know that she is going to receive a gift she’s been praying for. 🙏

The Perfect Day

Visualization exercise: What does a perfect day look like for me? 

Early rise – maybe around 5:30-6am when it’s not too dark outside anymore and the sun is just rising. I get up do some stretches and jog outside. Maybe some days I’ll do a home work out. Maybe some days my husband or children will join me. 

After getting back, I’ll have some 10 minutes to keep quiet and meditate. Then maybe read something inspirational for the day, like a devotional or self-help books. 

After that, I’ll cook a nice healthy breakfast and maybe pack a healthy lunch too for the day. I like preparing healthy food. I like having control over what I eat. 

After breakfast, I’ll prepare myself for work. Somewhere nearby. Somewhere that doesn’t need me to be there at 8 or 9am. Maybe 10. 😅 Is this being lazy? Lord, if this is not for me then I’ll adjust this perfect day to an earlier schedule. But please Lord, the perfect day is without traffic. Hehe 

Work will be something dear to me. Where I can practice my creativity and also mentoring people I work with and learning from angel mentors who will also work with me. I realized that my personality type is supportive of people who know what they want to do and how to do it. I thinka I can be a good support staff. I hope I can be a good boss and art-social-entrepreneur too. (My forever dream) 

Really, I just want to have time freedom and some financial freedom. Time freedom so I can spend time on things that matter most to me, like caring for the family. 

Most of all, I want peace of mind. Enlightenment. Self-awareness. Wisdom. Perseverance. Love. The quieter virtues that I think I should start learning from the challenges of here and now. 

I want to be always inspired. To live. To create. To be present. To love. To do. 💕

Lord I come to You
Let my heart be changed, renewed
Flowing from the grace
That I have found in You
And Lord I have come to know
The weakenesses I see in me
Will be stripped away
By the power of Your love

Hold me close
Let Your love surround me
Bring me near
Draw me to Your side
And as I wait
I will rise up like the eagle
And I will soar with You
Your Spirit leads me on
In the power of Your love

Thank you, Lord, for showing me weakness so that I may be able to gain strength from You. 
I will be still and know You are God.

Thought of the day

Do something today that your future self will thank you for.

Nope. Not doing anything for me this week. :( 

Hi jogging. 

Hi painting.

Hi thesis. 

Hi reading books. 

Hope to find time (and energy) for you soon. Too stressed with work. :(