I am not supposed to feel
Anything.
Because when you’re always wrong
You’re never right
Never.
But that’s okay
Because I’d rather not feel for
Anyone.

On Love

Some takeaways on love from Paulo Coelho in his book, Adultery:

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once a month
i feel amiss
there’s something wrong
i cannot place it

one minute i’m cheery
the next I’m sad
are there dementors
behind my back?

every second
i just sigh
there’s too much work
i want to hide

clock ticks six
time to go home
but i don’t want
to be alone

every month
before my visitor comes
this same old feeling
comes to pass.

She learned too late that poets are among the damned, cursed to commiserate over their loss, to reach with outstretched hands – hands that will never know the weight of what they seek.

The voices of the dead poets cried out in alarm and warned her about the greatest heartache of all – how every stroke of pen thereafter would open the same wound over and over again.
-Lang Leav

Just found out how true this is. That every time I reread the poems I wrote I travel back in time to where I was. Like the past becomes the present all over again.

If only I could stop time
I will not keep you forever
I just want to hold you
A little while more.

He was sleeping next to me when I wrote these lines, crying. It was one of the last lasts before he was set to leave.

Exactly how it felt

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-Lang Leav

Glad he came to take back his goodbye.

Old Sketches/Drawings

Before everything gets too old and thrown away, I took photos of my old sketches/drawings from my really old sketch pad. 😊

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Birthday

My birthday’s coming and I realize I’ve never really liked my birthdays. There’s this pressure to be happy and I hate that. Never really a fan of being excited, or surprises because you have to plaster a smile on your face.

I’m weird. I know.

those days

there are often sunny days
when i just want to hide
away from all those eyes that stare
a place where i can just lie

though flowers bloom and birds float tunes
i’d rather just stay here
where darkness croons full of gloom
a place without a care.

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